


The Journal

by juliesioux



Series: Exploring the Future [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Oliver Queen's Journal, True Love, olicity - Freeform, olicity wedding vows, partnerships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5212619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliesioux/pseuds/juliesioux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what does Oliver write about in his journal? Does Felicity know what he is writing? Has he told her? Oliver uses it as a tool and a way to remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Journal

_**The Journal** _

Ever since returning from their five months of bliss, Oliver had been keeping a journal that he wrote in almost every day. Sometimes about he wrote about the things that troubled him the most about his five years away, particularly all of his time on Lian Yu, and sometimes he wrote about what was currently happening to him and those he loved.

Felicity had been curious but never once had she asked him to explain why he wrote in it or what he wrote in it. Oliver had waited for her to ask, he had seen her watching with careful glances from behind half closed eyes, but she never once broached the subject.

And he loved her for that quiet and deeply respectful acknowledgement of his privacy. She knew what he was doing was important to him but was not intruding. He knew her curiousity was revved into high gear, but he also knew that she would never cross this one particular line.

He wanted to tell her about it but he had yet to fully open up to Felicity about all of the things that happened when he was in exile. There was so much he wasn’t ready to face even though he knew she would support him through that healing.

A few of the entries were about Felicity, specifically about her effect on him as a person and as a man. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment they had linked their spirits together but when he looked at her, he could see the point of their connection burning like the heart of the universe whenever he looked into her eyes.

After the events following the rescue of Ray Palmer, and the honest conversations they had had as a result, Oliver felt that they had now merged their journeys as individuals into one that would lead them into the future together as one. He felt transformed, like a better version of himself as a result of her decision to link her spirit and merge her journey to his.

His trust and respect for who she had become had grown much so that he left the journal out on his bedside table without a worry because he knew she would never, ever look inside it. He had nothing to hide from her, so he never hid it, but he also knew she would wait until he was ready to share before asking what he wrote on those pages.

Lately, he had been writing down his dreams and nightmares of Lian Yu but with a singular purpose. He was searching through the fragmented and shattered pieces of the memories for one small shard of conversation between himself and Baron Reiter. This one small moment could be the key to defeating Damian Darhk and it was buried deep within the vault he had constructed to hold the horrors of Lian Yu in his mind.

One morning a week ago, he had woken up and stared at the ceiling of their bedroom for a few moments before turning over to look at Felicity. The early morning light was filtering through the enormous windows next their bed illuminating her as though that was what it had been created for. As gently and tenderly as he could, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and thought about his mother’s engagement ring, tucked away in a small box next to where he slept every night.

Soon, he thought, not when.

That morning, after she had left for the day and before he made his way to his campaign office, Oliver sat down and began to write out his vows.

Four mornings later, with several entries written and crossed out, he arrived at what he thought would be the words he would say to her in front of their family, friends, and loved ones.

_“Felicity,_

_When I returned from my five years in hell, I had created so many barriers and walls to keep myself closed off and safe from everyone around me. I was determined to not let anyone get close to me ever again._

_And then I met you. And there was nothing I could do to prevent you from pushing past those barriers until you connected to my true self. You didn’t just open my heart, you freed it. You unlocked it and set me free from the darkness that I had embraced in order to survive._

_You see me, the true me, and I have nowhere to hide now that you do._

_And I don’t want to._

_With you I am known._   
_With you I am loved._   
_With you I am understood._   
_With you I no longer fear._   
_I am stronger with you._   
_I am a better man because of you._   
_I am transformed simply by knowing you. Loving you has challenged me to let go of the past and embrace my true self._

_You showed me how to love by loving me as I was, as I am and for who I will be with you as step into our future together._

_You are like the universe in ecstatic and chaotic motion and I love every moment that I am with you, no matter where we are, as my best friend, my partner, my wife, and my hero.”_

 

It read like a love letter to him. One day, soon, he would be able to say this to her with love infused into every word. Until then, the journal would remain unprotected and on display.


End file.
